Tuesday, April 23, 2013

I pooped in a bag...AGAIN!

WARNING!!!! After reading this email you may know more about me than you ever wanted to! Enjoy :)
I pooped in a paper bag this week. The sad part is that it wasn't my first time...
I am about to tell you all something that I NEVER tell anyone. Whenever anyone asks for my most embarrassing moment I make one up JUST so I don't have to tell them my real embarrassing story which I am about to do. About 10 years ago my family was in Paris for our first time. We had a our minivan filled with us 5 daughters and my mom driving in downtown Paris at rush hour. We were heading to Euro Disney and were stuck in traffic forever! Like parked cars stuck. I REALLLLLLLLY needed to go to the bathroom. I am normally pretty okay at holding these things in but there was no way I could hold it in for hours. We wouldn't be able to get out of traffic and I had no options... Until my genius of a mother suggested that I use the Happy Meal Box from McDonald's  Yes, what you are thinking is right. I POOPED in a Happy Meal Box. In downtown Paris. At rush hour. As I was pooping in the box I looked out the window and totally made eye contact (with disgust) with the car next to us. I felt much better after doing it but having a hot van, full of girls and poop is not fun. Rolling down the windows and trying to ignore what had just happened was not the best way to experience Paris. I am still very sorry to my sisters, mom and french people for having to deal with that. I am sharing this story with you because A: I won't see any of you for about 17 months and B: it goes right into my next story about what I had to do this week...
Thank Belgium for this next one. So the great country of Belgium which is part of my mission requires you to do a poop test to get your visa. When I found this out I was about to ask for a reassignment because it would bring back very traumatizing memories. I had to poo in a cup/bag, take a little spoon and scoop up a portion, MASH IT UP and put it in a solution. The whole time I was doing this I was freaking out. SOOOO gross and just ew. I was also terrified that my poop wouldn't be good and I would have to do it again. I didn't though! So 10 years ago I had to poop in a paper box to get out of Paris and now I had to poop in another non-toilet to get there. Perks of being Emily! I am still SOOOO happy to be going where I am going but I better serve in Belgium to make doing that worth it!
I have 1 favor to ask all of you. PLEEEEASE go on YouTube and search "Earthly Father, Eternal Father." It will be on mormonchannel but it is amazing. I watch it everyday and sneak into the computer lab just so I can watch it. I am so glad that I have my Heavenly Father!!
Cool thing about french. We call our investigators of the church, amis des église! That translates to friends of the church. How awesome! I definitely think everyone is a friend of the church and french is great for calling them that!
Jasmine Junk came here on Wednesday. After spending my lunch and language time outside searching for her, I finally saw her at dinner and see her everyday! I LOVE seeing her and having that piece of home here at the MTC. Louisville is soo lucky to be getting such a gem. Another cool french thing. So my french is really coming along and this little thing happening proves to me that I am improving. This week my comp and I were preparing our lesson. She asked me, what is "redempteur" in English  I replied with " I think it is redemptur" or something. That might not make sense so I will clarify. I didn't reply with RedEEMer but with the same french word just pronounced differently. I forgot English!!! WOO HOO!!!!!
My district and I still laugh and laugh. ALL THE TIME. 6 pac abs here I come. Not 6 actually because that is gross but abs here I come! Yesterday at dinner there was chicken. I asked for someone to pass the pepper and put a bit on my meat. Yummy. I drink chocolate milk here A LOT and so I went to take a delicious sip of it only it wasn't delicious. There were like seeds in it and I was so confused. Since when did milk have seeds??? I looked into my cup and there was a lot of black pepper in it. I am still sooo confused. I don't know if I accidentally put pepper in my milk or if someone in my district was playing a trick on me. They all swear it wasn't them and they are missionaries so they can't lie but WHY would I put pepper in my milk????? So gross.
So each Sunday we take a walk to the temple as I mentioned last week. It may have been a hint to people but I couldn't actually write the word hint without feeling bad. BUT they got the hint!!! I saw my girls Jacqueline, Kelli and Darel!!! LOVE LOVE LOVE them and seeing them was so unreal. I really have the best friends and am so blessed! Seeing my "old life" as a missionary was crazy but oh well! Hopefully they instagram/fb that and you all saw it but if not, I have proof!
I have less than three weeks left!!!! On May 13th I will be at the airport and on my way to Paris! CAN'T WAIT!!! But I still have sooo much to learn and I need to remind myself the more I learn here the less I will have to learn there! I still can't wait though! All of the teachers here at the MTC go to BYU and if you graduate, you lose your job. So I am losing Brother Larimer/Pierre/Jean-Michele this week. I haven't cried once since getting here but that all might change. I just love him. Not like a creepy romantic way but he has taught me so much and is just an amazing person. We try to get him to teach us cool things in french but it doesn't work. Like we ask him to teach us how to say. "Like a Boss." He refused. BUUUUUT I got him to teach us how to say, "Cool story bro" and it is..... Bonne Histoire Fré!!! How cool. If I ever say it in France I might get deported from embarrassing their language but oh well. I think I am cool and that is what matters right?
This week I memorized the first vision in french!!! I don't know it in english but I will learn. It is awesome. I am going to memorize James 1:5 and other stuff to. The gift of tongues is real. But it isn't the only part in learning a language. I pray every day for the gift but I work everday to receive the gift. I know that if we each do our part then the Lord will do His and with both of us doing our parts, we will see those miracles and blessings in our lives.
I officially can't get homesick because I don't have a home! My family home in South Ogden is sold!!!! So looks like I will be suprised when I get back! Hopefully the move and goodbyes to our longest-lived house went well!
Quick shout out to my newly engaged friends! Congratulations Scott Collins and Chrissy and Alyssa Pitt and Dallin!!!! SOO HAPPY!!! But please, no one else get married, have babies or anything else while I am gone. :)

So this past Tuesday Elder Richard G Scott spoke at the devotional. He truly is a man of God. He spoke about prayer and it was incredible. He also really spoke about how much he loves sister missionaries and missionaries learning a language so he REALLY loves me! i have never really paid tooooo much attention to him during conference but having him be the only speaker really opened my eyes to what a great speaker he is. LOVED it!
MELISSA is 16!!! My baby sister is 16 and 2 days. So crazy. I thought she was still 7. Watch out boys and drivers because Melissa Johns is coming!!!!!
Last Sunday we watched the restoration in french. i didn't understand that much of what they were saying but i really understood the language of the spirit. It really helped my testimony grow that the Spirit is the one that teaches and gets to peoples hearts. It was so great hearing so much french and then feeling the Spirit!!!
For anyone that needs a marriage prep class.... I suggest serving a mission. I LOVE my companion. BUT being with the same person 24/7 is hard work. Communication is key. I really feel like serving a mission will help me be a better wife and mother because I am learning patience, communication and love for everyone. It really is so great. 

I love you all! PLEASE continue to write/email/dearelder me! It really makes my day.
Soeur Emily Johns

No comments:

Post a Comment